Vampire Story 2

There is a trick I sometimes use.

If you want to turn a person, you can’t tear them in half. They only come back when you do as little damage as possible. You have to use restraint when you take them. They don’t need to bite your wrist and get your blood, it’s not like an Anne Rice novel. It doesn’t work that way. You just have to not rip them apart.

I have been lonely for a very long time.

I don’t think it could kill me, but the sun hurts. I cannot go outside in the day. It burns, and it blinds me. I don’t burst into flames or anything, but I cannot function during the day time.

This presents various financial issues.

In every story about us we are presented as glorious, wealthy kings. We are not. We live from food to food. We prey upon the weak. We steal from those we kill, but now that everyone is mostly using debit cards, it’s not exactly profitable. They can’t give you the pin number after you’ve drained them.

I live only at night, and as I said I am very lonely. The only way to not be lonely is to make more of us.

My every impulse is to rip them in half. Devour them. But I don’t.

If you go to the photo store you can buy a substance called potassium ferricyanide. If you go to a beauty store you can buy a vial of trichloroacetic acid also called TCA. Potassium ferricyanide is a red powder, TCA is a clear liquid.

What I do is arrange a date.

I put the potassium ferricyanide and the trichloroacetic acid in a pot and turn the heat to low. That turns it into hydrogen cyanide gas, one of the deadliest substances on the earth. Of course, I’m already dead so it doesn’t affect me. It does annoy the neighbors though. Their kids keep dropping dead.

When my date arrives, she or he almost always immediately begins to die. They don’t struggle, they just die. Then I bite, gently. After that I have to scrub out the pot.

That’s the trick I sometimes use.

Once they rise, I own them. Not because I have special mind control over them, but because they know nothing of being a vampire. The sun rips them apart because they are so young, and so they can't escape. They know nothing but thirst for blood, and they need me to get it for them. All of my wives and husbands need me, need me. And in exchange they will do anything I want. Usually kill.

I’m not lonely anymore.